October's Child

And I know not what caused it, the same way I know not how to make it go away.

How is it that you manage to live your whole life just fine by yourself,
then one day you bump into a random person and it suddenly becomes impossible to continue living without him?

I guess I broke that rule too.

And its all because of you. :(

I think I’ve figured out why I’m still holding on.

I had the best three weeks of my entire life in August.
And you were there for most of it.
All my memories of the place, of the fun I’d had,
of the laughter, the smiles and the sunshine…they’re all interwoven with the memories I have of you.
It isn’t possible for me to block you out and still remember all the happiness of those three weeks.

And I want to remember them.
I want to hold on to them, and on my dreariest days pull out all those memories and go over them again,
and rediscover all the things that made me the happiest I’d ever been in a very long time.

I need those memories.
And I need you.

If I lose you, I lose it all.

When the rain falls
It's like heaven's crying
When the name's all
The difference that there is
Cause tears are
The same when they are trying to grow something good
Out of all the pain
There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain.

~When The Rain Falls, Pixel Perfect Soundtrack

(via withlovefromskye)

‘Cause all of the stars
Have faded away
Just try not to worry
You’ll see them someday
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

~Stop Crying Your Heart Out, Oasis.

Beautiful song. :)

I can’t concentrate on anything.

Why did you remember anyway?

Was it because you were mailing other people and you saw my name on your list and remembered?
Or was it because you felt guilty and decided to finally reply?
Or was it because somewhere deep down you do care a little?

I shouldn’t have complained about not missing you.

Now I miss you so bad its cutting deep into my heart and all I can think about is how to make the pain go away.

Do you have any idea at all how much your words hurt me?

I’m wondering if I should be happy that you wished me,
or if I should be upset because you made it sound like you were too busy for me.

Was it unintentional or did you mean to sound that way?

You shouldn’t have wished me.
I was doing just fine.
With just 3 sentences you’ve reduced me to a total wreck.

I was doing fine.

So you do still remember.
You made the effort, and I’m kind of glad for that. I guess I didn’t think about how things were from your perspective.

But I’m still upset.

And you know, for the record, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself because I’ve fallen in love with you and I have to figure out how to let that go.
~Detective Lindsay Monroe, CSI : NY (Right Next Door)

I wonder if I’m crazy for saving your mail and reading it over and over again when I miss you too much.

I’ve been fine, I’ve been handling the missing you part.
But somehow the smallest thing can break that dam I’ve built around my feelings.
Small things like my mother asking if I still talk to you, over breakfast in the mornings.

Sometimes I wonder, am I the only one involved in this?
Do you ever miss me too?
Worse still…do you ever think about me at all?
Or are you getting on with your life while I’m slowly becoming numb?